The mere thoughts that reside in my mind.
only a shadow's Articles In Misc
June 24, 2005 by only a shadow
I am temporarily (probably permanently) leaving JU. Dear someone, I am running away again. The problem was there on the table for us to resolve, but we both turned our heads. I can’t read anything you write, that is why I am leaving. You seemed to have wanted me out of your life completely… so I am cutting off this last form of communication between us. I hope that you are happy now that I am completely gone. We never even got to say goodbye… good or bad, I still find that a l...
June 23, 2005 by only a shadow
I am too bad for the good girls. I have made out with guys, I curse, I am mean… most of the good girls get mad at me and tell me that I am “such a bad person for saying the stuff I say”. I am too good to be a bad girl. I don’t drink or smoke enough, I get good grades, and enjoy studying. They would think I’m a poser. I am not preppy. I don’t play basketball, volleyball, or softball… so that knocks me out right there. I belong nowhere. I don’t fit in. I can’t do anythi...
June 19, 2005 by only a shadow
I have an old blog I was just looking through. I can’t help but cry when I read it. This is full of anger, crying, and how I felt for what seemed like forever. http://morethanme18266.blogspot.com/ You have to read from the bottom up… that is in chronological order. That is how I felt… and I hope everyone is happy. Shadow
June 11, 2005 by only a shadow
The ACT… wasn’t as difficult as I anticipated. Actually… I probably did better than half of the idiots I was roomed with. Most of them were big, stupid football studs that spent 15 minutes on each test and then fell asleep. Alysha (acband girl) went with me (actually, she is the one who inspired me to test with her). Her parents were helping with the test so I also got a ride home and a free lunch! Thank you Alysha’s parents! I knew most of the information, read the material thoro...
June 10, 2005 by only a shadow
Tomorrow I take my ACT for the first time. Does anyone have any good advice or tips for taking it? I have never taken a strait 4-hour test before. The OGT took a total of 12 and a half hours, but that was 2 and a half hours a day for 5 consecutive days… and I never even used most of that time. It took me about 45 minutes to complete the math section (double checking answers and everything); which is my poorest subject… and I still received an advanced rating. Math tends to be my stro...
June 5, 2005 by only a shadow
Ain’t got no gun, got no knife Don’t you start no fight Cause I’m TNT I’m dynamite TNT, but I’ll win the fight TNT, I’m a power load TNT… just watch me explode. Great song… Honestly people… I can beat the hell out of your face so it will look like your ass, that’s just what karate and off-season fight training can do for you. My abs are rock solid. Sadly, it’s because when I was really angry at the worst time of my life, self mutilation kicked in and I beat myself with my fi...
June 5, 2005 by only a shadow
Everyone has heard the song “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC. Well, there is a story behind that song for me. I absolutely love the song and I always have. Well, going to an Academic Challenge tournament I was listening to the CD in my walkman and started singing. My best friend told me to stop singing it and I take off my headphones and go, “Why? The first time I have sex I want this song to be playing…” She gave me a really weird look and says, “How does that not surprise me y...
June 2, 2005 by only a shadow
I am not as dumb as you guys think. I have a plan. I make good friends with the people of the younger classes. They actually respect me… look up to me… and I like them as people. They don’t lie, deceive, or turn around and stab your back! It’s the people in my class and older who are the bitches and bastards! And besides… I am going to get close (personally) to some of them, and maybe not so close with others. I will be there and offer to be the best friend they ever had… I would...
May 26, 2005 by only a shadow
You think that you’re upset? You think that you’re so sad? Think about what’s happened to me, And why I feel so bad. You think that you were dumped? You think you never mattered? Did you ever notice one that was hurt so much, Laying there torn and battered? Thrown aside like trash? Being tossed aside… This all sounds so familiar, From one who is still being fed the lies… ~shadow
May 26, 2005 by only a shadow
Every since I was very young, I have been questioned about my ethnicity. I was the only girl with black hair, brown eyes, and a dark completion when I was in elementary. I was teased. I was called a Mexican and other “slang” ethnic terms. For the longest time I wish I was the “true” American girl… blonde hair, blue eyes, tall and thin. But, I know that I will never be that kind of American… I was the little 7-year-old girl pushed away from everyone else because she didn’t fit in. ...
May 19, 2005 by only a shadow
Some search for a refuge, To shelter them from all the pain. Others look for a stable anchor, To give them something to gain. I do not have to search any longer, For that special place. I’ve found it with you, Behind your beautiful face. You do not know I love you. I am too afraid to say. Our friendship means so much, And I wouldn’t want it any other way. But should I take the chance? Should I say I want you now? Is it the right time to be together? Is this something God ...
May 17, 2005 by only a shadow
Yesterday wasn’t my day. I can tell you now… I hate liars. The people who claim to always have been your friend… and have not spoken one word to you. The people that say, “Oh, I care about you so much and I always have!” and they have not even bothered to even say hello. Does that irritate anyone else? Almost WAITING every day just to expect them to say something… even a simple hello… and it just never comes. Day in and day out you give those people endless chances to prove themselves...
May 14, 2005 by only a shadow
So many times out there I’ve watched a happy pair Of lovers walking in the night They had a kind of glow around them It almost looked like Heaven’s light I knew I’d never know That warm and loving glow Though I might wish with all my might No face as hideous as my face Was ever meant for Heaven’s light But suddenly an angel has smiled at me And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright I dare to dream that he might even care for me And as I ring these bells tonight My cold...
May 12, 2005 by only a shadow
Does anyone familiarize music with certain memories they have? Our musical ensemble is playing this piece called “Flight of Valor”, we played it last season and since we started playing it again, I can only think about one person when we play it. It’s not like I WANT to think about him; it’s just that I do. Him and I concluded that this song was a perfect interpretation of our relationship about a year ago… it was fun, but we both went our separate ways. I found another guy, which I n...
May 10, 2005 by only a shadow
Everyone has found me… we’ll, if I never told you about my blog in the first place, that means I never wanted you to find it. So if you did find it, I really don’t care… but now I only have to watch what I write. So I can’t post half the stuff I post anymore because I will probably piss someone off. You know what, it’s all your guys’ fault if you don’t like what I have to say, alright? I am sick and tired of people nosing around in shit they don’t need to know about and criticizing me a...