And oh, how I can cover this pain.
I am irritated with false friends. The people who said (and might still say) they will always be there for you… but they never are. In fact, when you needed a friend the most... they turned their back to you and walked away.
You then question yourself, what have I done wrong? What did I do that was so terrible for everyone to turn their back to me? Did I break someone’s heart? Did I lie to someone? Did I turn around and completely destroy someone and not give a shit?
I am irritated with these friends… I am tired of them acting like hypocrites. I don’t even look at these people anymore, it seems to only hurts me more.
I have the friend who claims they care about me with every ounce of their being… but has never proved that statement once.
I have the friend who will turn around and hurt me the worst… and then lie to cover themselves.
I have the friend who will call me psycho and messed up.
I have the friend who will never keep anything I’ve confided to them a secret.
I have the friend who is completely biased and has only looked at one side of the story.
I have the friends who have completely turned their backs to me…
So I am wearing my mask, my mask with the smiles and laughs. The deceitful smile and an “Everything is great.” seems to appease every ordinary person and everyone of those “false friends”.
Only a few understand and won’t give up on me. And I pray from the bottom of my heart that they never do. It only seems I am hurt now worse than ever before…
Oh, how I cover this pain so well…
~Shadows